'purse'onally UNinvited

competitiveness is a disease
one without a cure.
and i deffffinitely have it.
baad

i mean who knew?? i always knew i was competitive.
and winning is always funn.
but i mean, relief society?
really rachel. calm down

and here's the thing. i wasn't even being that baad!
i was just quick

okay, here is the story

soo i go to relief society because i was invited right?
and its this whole cute thing for relief society's 50th birthday or something and they had a million cute purses and the theme was like "purse"onal and "purse"uit of happiness and stuff.
yeah cute.

so they fed us dinner.
yum
sang us a song.
sweet.
and then we played a game...
this is where the problems started


so here is how the game worked.
there was a big purse in the middle of the room.
sister baker stood at the microphone and would say
"anyone have tissues in their purse" and they would do everything from a church magazine to fingernail clippers. so fun
and everyone would race to see who had it and if they could get it in the big purse the fastest.

so i ended up being the official 'runner' for the table.

soo i was wearing slippery shoes and pretty much dove 5 times to get the items in the purse the fastest.
and i actually won 7 times and got the prize for having the most items.... even though they weren't technically all mine

soo here is where the bloddy/split open lip comes into play.

so the purse moved around the room a lot to make it fair for allll the tables and this item happened to be a cell phone


perfect

i didn't have to wait for the others on my table to dig it out of their purse... i just grabbed mine and ran

so i'm running to the purse i did not notice poor sister waring.
i guess she stood up right as i was going by and as i was literally throwing my phone into the purse i guess somehow i elbowed her or something and her lip legitimately bled until the night was over. which definitely was a good hour. but i mean i was in the back table and the purse was like 6 feet away from her. if that.
so i mean, she should have been quicker.
okay no i am kidding.
i should have been not so competitive and intense.

i really feel so bad
and i gave her the candy bar you win for being first.
because well, i won.

but i felt bad too.

but i did win 7 candy bars and well, kept none of them.

but it was sad
and i really feel so bad. and everyone got quiet and it was embarrassing and sad and i felt like crap and that i should just be dirt.


moral of the story is.
the relief society is never going to invite the laurels to their activities again because if they do...
i will be there.
and probably leave someone with a broken leg next time...

great.
it really is the story of my life.